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Children's News - Articles and ReviewsNail
Biting - Exploring the Habit & Helping Your Child to Stop – Part 1
Adults who are active biters fall into the range of 20-25%, the majority having started their habit in childhood. If a parent was a biter, this percentage increases as the child role-models both positive & negative parental behaviours. An interesting observation about nail biting is that every- one seems to know about it, but few seem to know much about it. The correct word for this self-destructive behaviour is onychophagia & cuticle picking that often goes hand in hand with the habit is known an onchotillia. Aside from the actual tissue damage, the most disturbing factor in nail biting is the feeling of inadequacy derived from being unable to control oneself. When the habit goes on for years, or to any severer extent, it leaves the individual with a feeling of poor self-esteem & a perceived unstable personality that can be detrimental to other spheres of life as the child grows & matures. Adding to this despair is the physical harm that often develops. At times both the fingers & nails become disfigured for life & other conditions such as discoloration, infection, separation & thickening of the nails can occur. A common complaint is paronychia, which is a swelling & inflammation around the tissue of the nail, often containing pus, which often needs surgical intervention. Another common condition, onycholysis, which is the separation of the nail from the nail bed can also occur. Besides the risk of tissue damage, when fingers enter the mouth so does everything on them, including the dirt. If the child is in day care or pre-school, many children are handling the same toys & so the germs are passed around like a communal dinner feast. What's mine is yours takes on new meaning. A nail biting child is more directly exposed to colds, sore throats & other childhood illnesses, as well as pinworm & other parasitic visitors. Children who put their fingers in their mouth are also at risk for lead poisoning. Recent studies point to the increased danger of this, especially in city children who are exposed to the small lead particles from car exhaust that settles in the dust. Even small amounts of lead when ingested can cause minimal brain damage with resultinghyperactivity & reduced intellectual functioning. Self-Etching Habits into the Mind… Nail biting is a compulsive behaviour that is mind-etched in- to a habit. Most biters are often unaware that they are involved in the habit. This is called auto-pilot behaviour. Many biters & pickers do not wake up until they inflict a good amount of pain. It's quite amazing how much pain needs to be inflicted before one stops, making this quite different from other pain-causingactivities such as pinching oneself. In addition, most nail biters are adept at positioning their hands during the act, so that no one, including themselves notices what is happening. Biters seem to know how to hide their hands in public & once again, this can take on auto-pilot mind programming. NailBiting Triggers Triggers can be as different as the children, but there are some common threads. Ongoing high level stress, loneliness, boredom, television viewing, sadness, pain & the need to stress-release may lead children to engage in both pre-nail biting & full nail biting behaviours. Notice that nail biting can be both a stressor & a stress-releaser. Pre-nail biting behaviours can include touching or rubbing the nails or cuticles, perhaps peeling them, over-inspection of the nails, looking for littlehangnails& then the final act of slipping the fingers into the mouth. Once a child learns nail biting asanautomatic response to certain situations, the accustomed routine or habit becomes difficult to relinquish unless certain tools, such as inter- active self-hypnosis are employed. For instance, if a child practices pre-nail biting & full nail biting behaviours as he watches television, should he try to engage in that activity without the nail biting, he will have the uncomfortable feeling that something is missing. This feeling is similar to the grief that is felt when someone leaves or dies. There is a true missing, a longing, a desire to be reunited with the nail biting. This feeling can be in- tensely uncomfortable for thechild. Once the fingers go back into the mouth, the feeling disappears & the child feels comforted once again. The child doesn't necessarily want to bite his nails, but he needs to. The habit, plus the intense feeling of discomfort is what keeps the habit alive. Emotional VS Habit Although most children bite their nails out of habit, they are certainly not exempt from emotional difficulties. It is fair to saythat when fingers are in the mouth, the child isn't verbally communicating his feelings & parents needto be aware of any possible emotional distress that might need addressing or professional intervention. The child may learn a pattern of avoiding confrontation by slipping away into a self-induced hypnotic trance& then biting his nails for comfort. He is missing out on learning how to share & manage his feelings& this can become an additional habit that can lead to a deterioration in emotional health in childhood & then be carried over to adulthood. Nail biting is not a socially accepted behaviour & children quickly learn when & where it can be done without drawing attention. The process of biting or pickingbecomes secretive, but unlike other habits, the evidence remains & is often a source ofembarrassment, social humiliation, leading to low self-esteem. The child is in a Catch-22, as his self respect is on the line. But, the pain involved in stopping is simply too much to handle & failure is often re- etched over & over again. This is compounded by the fact that the child is simply not aware of what he is doing & this increases his stress & feelings of being out of control. The second part of thisarticle will open up new vistas for the child, as well as for the parent. These vistas include the nutritional connection to compulsions, building high level awareness while releasing stress & interactive selfhypnosis imagery that teaches the child to enter his own successful imagery & activelypractice building good relationships with his fingers. Part 2
You already know from
the first part of this article that little fingers in the mouth
can put the child connected to them at great risk. You met up
with 8 year old Ian McCarthy who spends a good part of his day
eating. On any given day he consumes minute particles of lead,
sufficient enough to cause at least minimal brain damage & if
continued could result in hyperactivity & reduced intellectual
functioning. He regularly eats pinworm eggs, parasites & other
potential diarrhoea-causing organisms, many that can live for
years in his intestinal tract. He also ingested a variety of
virus, some related to measles & other contagious diseases, some
of which can put his body in serious jeopardy. Most parents feel
at a loss when deciding what to do with a nail biting child.
Some feel that the habit must be out- grown, but statistics show
that 20-40% of adults still en- gage quite regularly in their nail
biting behaviour. Others feel that the biting fulfils some basic
unmet need & breaking the habit may have dire consequences. The
frustrated parent may directly or indirectly criticize the child
& then offer no alternatives. While the child may appear not to
care, this type of personal attack can lead to self-image &
self-esteem issues that can stay with the child for the rest of
his life. The child learns that he or she is not competent in
taking care of his or her own body & therefore quite worthless.
This can easily be translated into guilt & shame, the child
feeling guilty for not pleasing the parent & ashamed for not being
mature & capable of what appears to be such a simple thing. After
all, taking one’s fingers out of the mouth & not biting them
should be an easy thing to do, so why is it so difficult, not
only for children, but for adults as well.
The child is often left with a feeling of ambivalence to add to the nail biting problem & tends to block out the habit, making it even more difficult to stop. It’s quite easy to step into a self-hypnotic state & just not be with the problem at all. This often brings even more criticism from the parents who truly see this as their failure in parenting. If parents are already highly stressed in their own lives, they may not want to even deal with this. After all, Ian isn’t eating his fingers off at the knuckles, he’s just nail nibbling. However, considering the implicit dangers woven through this article, parents may like to reconsider their attitudes & review some tools I’ve utilized over the years to help nail biters of all ages. 4 Steps to Self-Management Whether the biter be young or adult, the steps remain the same. It’s important to become consistent with all of the steps, but in the beginning patience is a virtue, both for the parent & the biter, so it’s important to impart this wisdom to the child. High Level Nutrition – most children eat poorly & this causes food stress. Parents must be role-models for children in the nutritional department. Balance is key, as well as the timing of meals. Children & adults alike need to eat every 3.5 to 4 hours & protein needs to be in each of these meals to help hold the blood sugars stable. Unstable blood sugars lead to the production of stress chemicals that lead to nail biting & picking. Heightened Awareness – no one bites their nails 24-7 & this is important for both parent & child to notice. Study your child’s habit before discussing this, then ask you child to notice when there is no nail biting & then when there is nail biting. Ask the child to tell you more about what he/she is feeling or needing then. Self-Care – Purchase a child manicure set & if the child is old enough, encourage the appropriate & safe use of this. Each day or evening & especially in nail biting times, have the child slowly & gently massage each finger & nail bed with hand cream, especially one with good moisturizers. This is not a time to rush. This should become more of a relaxing ritual. It’s important for your child to make friends with the nails, cuticles & fingers in general. Care needs to be given to these areas at least once a day by the child. It’s fine to talk to the child, very gently of course, while this is being done, but the child must do the self-care, for the child is ultimately responsible for his or her fingers. Interactive Self-Hypnosis – Entering therapeutic images is very helpful for the child. The parent can assist in designing these & encourage the child to make up his own. Many children enjoy knowing that their fingers are alive just as they are & have personalities. Some children name their fingers & see the nails as part of the clothing of the finger or part of the fingers body. No one likes to be bitten & no one likes to go into the dark mouth cave to be bitten. Ask the child to ask the nail to yell out when the hand is taking the fingers up to the cave. The hand can also be given the responsibility to keep the fingers & nails safe. Another suggestion is that the teeth don’t enjoy biting nails & so they can refuse to do so. Keep these suggestions just between you & the child. This is private business & not the business of other sib- lings who tend to tease. This will work to destroy the power of the interactive self-hypnosis. I have designed programs for children who bite their nails & it’s often effectual for the child to listen as he/she falls to sleep. If you have any questions about habits in children or adults, please feel free to write to contact me on my websites. Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN is a Clinical Medical Hypnotist, President & Program Designer, Sarasota Medical & Sports Hypnosis Institutelocated in Sarasota, FL & online at www.hypnosis-audio.com & www.sugar-addiction.com. She specializes in teaching self-hypnosis for health, disease management, habit control, self-improvement& sports enhancement. Her sites are interactive & educational, offering +350 CD programsforadults, kids, executives & athletes. She is the author of "Sugar...The Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Get Free". If there is something you would like included, be it a tip or suggestion please feel free to email us:
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